Alert! Warning! Beware!

To everyone who reads this, be warned that Tyler has a new obsession and it's a shocking one. Papa Curt discovered this without any warning and I'm sure it totally caught him off-guard (sorry!) so now I'm spreading the word to all: Tyler is very obsessed about death and dying.

I had read somewhere several months back that the best way to discuss death with children was to be factual and not try to fluff it up. I probably should have read more closely but I'm sure I was reading while doing two other things at the same time. Anyway, we were driving around a couple days ago and Tyler was telling me about some animals that sleep during the day and are awake at night. I was impressed that Ms. Wynter (note to self, warn Ms. Wynter too) was teaching him about nocturnal animals. So we named some nocturnal animals...cats, lions, hamsters, and I mentioned that I had a hamster when I was little. We went on listing more animals when Tyler asked me what happened to my hamster. This was when I recalled that article I wished I had read more closely, so, as matter-of-factly as possible, I said he died. Then I waited. Silence.

When Tyler is silent, you know his brain is processing and he's probably going to blurt out no less than 10 questions at any minute. Yep, here they came. Why did he die? Who made him die? How did he die? Why was I sad he died? Was he sad he died too? I think the worst part of all this was that Gavin was in the car listening to the conversation which he is still far too young to comprehend. At one point I mentioned that all animals die. All animals? Even giraffes? Monkeys? Dogs? Chilidog? Why will Chilidog die? When will Chilidog die? Monday? Tuesday? Wednesday? Thursday? Friday? Oh my goodness I sat there really hoping he didn't realize people were animals too. What had I done to this child?

Well, that was three days ago and after that drive, I hadn't heard anything else about it. Until last night. On our way home from the gym (apparently the car triggers deep thoughts), Tyler asked me out of the blue if Chili was sad that he is going to die. I was at a red light so I turned around to look at him. I put my hand on him. I said Chili is not going to die for a long time so you do not need to worry about that anymore. Do you think that's what that damn article meant when it said to be factual when discussing death with children?

I remember last May, right around Mack's 4th birthday, when Mack was obsessing about things dying and getting killed. I remember how shocking that subject was for me to hear coming out of a child's mouth, and how I kept trying to change the subject so his words wouldn't 'taint' Tyler. Mack is our little pioneer for all things to come since he's nine months older than Tyler. Until then, I had never thought about kids talking about that stuff. Now, this same thing is becoming Tyler's reality. On the plus side, he appears to be a very normal 4 year old. But on the minus side, it's so shocking.

So, last night after the little heart to heart and my reassurance that Chili wouldn't die any time soon, we got home and Papa called. Tyler wanted to say hi so he got on the phone. Papa asked Tyler if he was going to play T-Ball on Saturday. Tyler said "Yeah. Chilidog is going to die one day." Poor Papa, I'm so sorry! Everyone else, consider yourself warned.